Tuesday, October 14, 2008
i knew i was different. i was never like the girl next to me or that boy beside me. my ideas stood out and sometimes people didn't know how to react to them. i could never fully follow the instructions given during art class. neither could i complete a mathematics sum the way the teachers taught us.
how rigid it has been. how can you teach art with step by step instructions. art is creative and vibrant. it is a life of its own. you can't encase it with instructions. those maths sums i could never comprehend. and they stare at me in disbelieve when i've gotten an answer without any working. now i know, they thought i cheated and copied somebody's answer. i didn't.
there are people in this world who are just not normal in your social sense. they don't see things the way you see it and that doesn't mean they're blind? you know sometimes it takes 20 steps instead of 3 to reach a final answer and perhaps those 20 creative steps teach us better than your 3 rigid steps.
i don't like injustice, yet i'm seen to be over aggressive. i don't like bullying, yet i'm seen to be a nosey parker. i really hate biasness and how things can be so unfair sometimes. i know many of you do too, but maybe you're too immune or too self-absorbed to lift a hand to help? all those good intentions that people fail to acknowledge or frown upon. because i'm just not like them.
it is getting increasingly harder to exist in a world of materialism, social expectations and the ailing human condition. now i know why people always say poets don't survive. more often than not, a poet is celebrated only after his death. because people fail to see the value of their words and thoughts and often they're classified as deranged and abnormal. yet when they die, people rediscover the things they've never seen and celebrate their works. too late.
i'm just struggling to not fall into a cycle of repetition. of a lifetime of waiting and doing the same mundane things all over again and fearing it to be different. because society doesn't accept it to be. i'm not you. i don't want to be like anyone else. i'm different. i'm me. just me.
-cheryl
1:50 AM
Cheryl
pretty faces