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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

why do i let small things upset me?
but are they really that small?

sometimes i wish the world would be more susceptible to selfish people. well, not exactly self-centred, but perhaps a little more self-satisfying. i hate to feel obliged or feel like i have think of others before i do something for myself.

it's like you know so much that doing something would be better for you, but the feeling of guilt pulls you down. you feel obliged to not do it to make others happier and not jeopardise relationships.

what's ironical is that you put yourself in a jeopardy to save the jeopardy of losing points in friendships. the grass is always greener on the other side. always.

i hate last minute decisions, last minute changes, last minutessss! i just don't like the uncertainty, of being unsure of when to wake up, when to be ready, when to be mentally prepared...i'm someone who needs space and time to hype myself up before plunging into things. i like knowing what i'm gonna be doing and being prepared for it knowing that even if i were late it's my own fault and not because of a last minute change of time or something. it irritates me and makes me feel very tardy and unprepared.

i hate waiting for replies that never come.

i hate it when i know i'm pms-ing and yet i can't do anything to control it. don't even try to ask me to because if you're woman, you'll know you can't.

i'm usually more tolerant and patient than this. but this doesn't mean i like all of the above that i said i hate any more. it's just that i try.

i am very broke.

i feel heartpain when i pay for my meal nowadays.

i hear the wind howling and the rain pelting on my window pane. that's the only thing i like about today. other than seeing you.

yet again, i feel obliged. i hate it when i know i owe it to somebody and i feel obliged. i shall remember this feeling and not put myself in this position ever again.

i like the fact that i have this blog to say what i hate and why i hate and blog and type when i feel like how i do right now.

goodnight
-cheryl
12:27 AM





Cheryl

pretty faces