Wednesday, September 19, 2007

today's quite a day, ain't it? happy birthday to you. and it has kept me thinking...one year ago, this time, this day...we were sitting outside the school bookshop, waiting to store our belongings. talking to uncle sam and he was teasing her. he went wen. and i went na. do you remember? it is funny to think back and reminise. of how it all started.

not that i miss it in any endearing way, but i do miss those happy times with the team. the times at camp just a year ago. dragonboating, chasing each other with water bottles, spraying water at each other, screaming our lungs out...how we, you...piggy backed me back to school. i love piggy backs and i guess you were one of the few who could piggy back me so well. how there was jealousy and drama. and everyone was shocked and so were we. it was then, i thought i belonged to you and i thought you belonged to me. but it was never that way.

it was a scandal. no less. a worse one when i found out, that you had another girl. i guess you were one who broke my heart, not because i loved you more. but because you did the most hurting things on me. of the words that you say that you still profess you meant them and you meant them well. but those words were void of meaning. void of any emotions. the day i found out. you cheated. on me. on her. on us. and on the world. everyone.

of the times i'd travel all the way, just to surprise you. of the times you'd lie in my arms and fall asleep. of the times we trained together and loved the chemistry that we produced on court. and then of the times i found out things were not right. when your heart turned cold and your eyes were full of lies. when you could still possibly want me, when you had another haven. it was selfish. so selfish. but i never gave up, till the very end...

it is one of those relationships that i will never forget. because it was so short and sweet while it lasted. and when it turned sour, i couldn't believe my eyes. of how i've been cheated, and fooled. of all the times i trusted you and you were never true. i will remember. because it hurt so bad.

it has been a year. no less. and the memory is still fresh in my head. i'm glad because it has taught me well. taught me that i can't trust. not just anyone. you've shown me how even a nice, kind friend like you can become a tyrant when we're in love. if you can, anyone else can. so you've taught me the worst a relationship can bring.

and now a year later, looking back, i have no regrets. being with you is not a regret. because after all these while, and after so long, i realise many things about you. that i may detest the way you treated me but deep down i know that you were true when it lasted. and deep down i know that after all these while, you still care and you are someone whom i can still count on, when i need you. maybe that's a softspot in you that i so loved in the past. but now you're a friend and i like it so much better this way.

there are times i really hated you, but i know that letting go and forgiving helps me more than it will help you. so, thank you for all the times you cared before and still do. and thank you for teaching me valuable lessons of love and of life. there is someone for me now, just as there is someone for you. please cherish her and be good. don't stray cos it will hurt her.

-cheryl
9:17 AM

Cheryl

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