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Monday, September 17, 2007

good morning everyone. it's a monday morning once again. the weekends have just passed me by so quickly just like they always do. but this week went by even faster because they say when you're happy, time passes quickly.

did i just say i was happy? yes i was. is it surprising now that i'm all melancholy? don't be. i'm happy because there have been things bugging me so much that i've worked out and i spent my weekend exercising and i had someone who's my girlfriend, best friend, soul mate and pillar of strength with me most of the weekend. how much better can it get? =D

mich has given me a possibility as to why my mood has been so bad lately. that it is pisces' pessimistic period because pluto has moved in front of saturn...i don't know if i believe in star signs but it has given me some comfort because i was beginning to think i'm going crazy. =X

and i've been thinking of a particular person lately. her name is queena. i miss her. she was so pretty. so energetic and so young. so young because she died when i was in sec 2. that i've always kept a part of her with me and i never did realise until recently. when i heard of the SIM floorballer's fate with leukemia. it brought back memories of those days. of the days i cared but didn't dare to show it.

maybe that was why i worked so much harder to get donations this time. because i blamed myself for being so young and unable to cope with my fears a long time ago. that i never said a word to her since she got sick. that i missed her but i never told her. and then she died and went away to a better place, they all say. that my heart was sick with grief but nobody knew.

maybe there has been too many things happening lately. to myself. to the people around me. that has affected me so much. because i'm so scared and feel so alone sometimes. that i've lived with some regrets that are coming back to haunt me today. i need time to sort things out within me. some quiet time. some time alone but i want you with me. will you be there?

i miss you, queena. i miss you.
-cheryl
8:36 AM





Cheryl

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