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Saturday, June 16, 2007

it has always been my dream to hold that trophy in my hands. ever since i knew of its existence. i've been working hard. working so hard for it. it was a goal. a dream. something i wanted to fulfil. a lust, maybe. but it was good motivation.

it brought me many fruits of labour. i tried my personal best in every training, to perform and outperform myself. to initiate. to lead. to set a good example. and when things went terribly wrong. i fought hard to get everything back.

it brought me my first leadership role in less than half a year. and i went on to undertake a bigger role. fought so hard for every game. every match. fought so hard for court slots. spent time planning. spent efforts dialling every number on the list just so i could convey messages given to me at the eleventh hour.

i worked so hard for an ultimate goal. but i never got it.

seeing it in the hands of most others make me a little sad. never envious because i knew they worked their personal bests for it too. but it makes me sad because it was my goal, my dream, my wish. i worked. since the beginning. not by chance, not by talent. by sheer hard work and drive. i worked. but i never got it.

maybe you'd not understand. it may be just, yet another trophy to you. but it means that much to me. because i set it as my benchmark from the very beginning. because in everything that i've put efforts into, the thought of holding it one day drove me on. it was always hovering above my head.

i've won trophies before. cross-country, relays, rifle shooting competitions, floorball competitions. maybe it wouldn't mean anything to many of you. maybe because you all have countless of these to your talent. to your strengths. but the truth is. i'm never very talented in these areas. the truth is, i tire easily and i get injured easily. each race. each relay. each shooting competition. each floorball training and match. i only conquered because i conquered my mind. not my body. my flesh is weak but i worked my head and my heart.

it was never easy for me. something most people will never know. and that is why it meant so much to me.

but i never got near.
-cheryl
10:34 PM





Cheryl

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