Tuesday, May 29, 2007

on the surface things can seem easy, a breeze. people can seem happy, they laugh and they smile. but where's the twinkle in their eyes? very often, we get lost midway, forgetting how to laugh, forgetting what really is laughter yet laughing through it all. it's only when we begin to slow down and look around that we realise many things we overlooked or are oblivious to. and more often than not, we realise that the person we've overlooked or forgotten about is none other than the closest person to our hearts. it is ourselves.

if we have no confidence in ourselves, how do we expect others to have confidence in us. if we have no faith, then no one else would have any. most of all, if we don't learn to love ourselves enough, we can never love others. it's always a barrier. self delusional and often very blinding. at some point we all learn, at some other point we forget but we just have to keep reminding ourselves. it can be simple, it can be difficult. it's all in our own hands.

fate can only do that much for us. the rest is up to us.

it's not enough to learn. not enough to know. not enough to realise. action speaks louder than any word. talk is cheap, so cheap it's filthy. empty barrels make the most noise anyway, and it's been proven true too many times.

each time i begin to feel a need, feel a kind of bitterness that wells up, i desperately cling onto some form of denial and i try to blame it on someone else. but then i realise it's myself that i've to overcome, not someone, not anyone, not anything. no one can make you feel upset, if you don't succumb yourself to feeling that way. it's so easy said yet it hits you hard on the face when it comes. yet with that said, once the self part is hurdled, then we can start to work on others, our counterparts and hopefully come to some compromise. i'm beginning to learn it well but not well enough just as yet.

i thought i was stronger than what i am but i realise i'm not. there are weak spots in me that have always existed but they always trick me by diving deep down and only resurfacing at the times i don't expect them to. i'm not as strong as i thought i am but i wish to be stronger.

don't try to understand any of the above cos they're really all rants that are quite random at times and come to me at the brink of sleep. if you understand anything, congratulations, if you don't, don't ask. just needed a form of outlet for tonight.

and tomorrow will come and a new day will come and i hope i'll still be supergirl.

-cheryl
12:38 AM

Cheryl

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