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Monday, February 26, 2007

when the people around know better. of the things i can do and the things i can't. of the things i'm good at and the things i'm not. expectations. people judge. fallen short of them. people judge. but they tell us to stand up. to stand strong. get up when you fall, they say. but they still judge. and weariness sets in. nothing to be afraid of, i think. was wrong. because people still judge. who are they to judge? i should be my own judge. but i let them be. crumbling. falling. forgotten strength. abandoned courage. all because of that single expectation.

where has all the confidence gone? or maybe it was never there. this inferiority threatens to eat me up. and it has always been this way. not that anyone would have known. not that i would have shown. nobody and no one would have noticed. behind those smiles lie fears. fears of judgement. fears of inferiority. fears of imperfection. fears of rejection. fears of failure. fears of so many scary things. yes, now you all know.

my dream. to be unafraid. to be unfaltered. to be unfazed. to be confident. confidence. something that i lack. something that kills me each time i try something out. i know now why. and i'm gonna work on it. not gonna let it bring me down. confidence in every single thing. be it floorball. be it friendships. be it relationships. be it academic work. be it in the family. whatever it may be. i know i lack confidence. i'm gonna work out something.

maybe studying has driven me crazy. this entry is full of emo crap. ignore it. =D
-cheryl
8:53 PM





Cheryl

pretty faces