Thursday, February 08, 2007
was reading a book "the joy luck club" which is mostly several diaries of real people who lived in the earlier years and below is an exerpt that i really liked. it's spoken by a grandmother to her baby grandchild...
"Even if i could live forever, i still don't know which way i would teach you. i was once so free and innocent. i too laughed for no reason. but later i threw away my foolish innocence to protect myself. and then i taught my daughter, your mother, to shed her innocence so that she would not be hurt as well. was this thinking wrong? if i now recognize evil in other people, is it not because i have become evil too? i see someone has a suspicious nose, have i not smelled the same bad things?"
the baby looked up at her and laughed, oblivious to the grandmother's woes.
"Thank you, little queen. then you must teach my daughter the same lesson. how to lose your innocence but not your hope. how to laugh forever."
have you lost your foolish innocence for your own protection? would you rather have chosen to keep that innocence and find no reason to laugh, but laugh anyway, each and every day? i would. but life isn't always so easy. things with choices are always the hardest. cos the best choice is always the most difficult choice. and we usually take the easy way out.
how to lose your innocence but not your hope. how? this reminds me of a time back where nothing else mattered to me except all the little thoughts in my head. when i was still just a toddler, how i'd say i want to marry my daddy and mum never started to nag at me yet. those were the times that we were deemed innocent. when we could get away with anything under the sun. even saying that you wanted to marry your daddy was cute. and immitating your mum's vulgar language was cute too. but now, nothing's cute anymore.
as we grow, we're expected to shed our innocence slowly but surely. and you begin to realise how the world isn't that perfect anymore and you want to grow up as quickly as possible to meet the challenges of the world. we begin to feel like we are ready to face up to them and we're so great that we can fight anything.
and then we meet with some crisis in our life and we crumble. only to realise that we've not quite met the bigger challenges this life would bring yet and we can't crumble. it's a fight till the end and only the fittest will survive. so we cling desperately to any lifeline, still holding on to a tinge of innocence and hope but slowly, we begin to lose these precious things.
we begin to wish we never grew up. we try and try but fail to regain the innocence and hope lost from yesterday's battles. if only we could slow down. if only the world would stop spinning for awhile. let us search and find the innocence we were all born with. let us find the hope. and let us find out how to laugh forever.
it's a good book really. lots of insights. made me realise many humble but true things about life.
-cheryl
8:06 AM
Cheryl
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