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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

i stay awake as the world sleeps
thoughts of you invade every part of my head
in my heart a deep longing
your hand to hold
your heart to keep
with every beat
a part of my heart leaves me for you

(: staying awake to do up work has never been so easy before. maybe it's because of the importance of the assignment. maybe it's because of the phone call. maybe it's because of the joy in my heart. maybe it's because of you.

so it's valentine's day yet again. this year feels special, there's something more than usual that makes this day feel different. and i think back on a year ago, on this fateful valentine's day. it was a day i never want to remember. a day i thought would haunt me forever. but i guess time do heal hearts and time makes everything less painful.

a year ago on this day, i was dumped by my ex boyfriend of 7 months. of all days of the year. and perhaps that was evidence enough to tell me how unworthy it had all been. how someone who'd sworn to have loved me all those 7 months could cruelly walk out of my then pathetic life on the most sentimental day. thinking back, i knew i could have been smarter, but i wasn't and that was a pity. i still cannot comprehend how i'd wasted time, effort, ALOT of cash since i was working then, and so much of heartbreak for this unworthy person. and thinking about it now, i'm glad it was all over, a mistake.

looking at today, life has taken a turn. how things have changed and are still changing. how i'd waited so long, wondering, hesitating, withdrawing and finally taken a shaky step forward. how i'd thought i lost the most precious gem in my life. how this gem still exists and how i hope she'll always stay. life is really unpredictable. every minute, every second. i've learnt to cherish every single moment cos we never know when we'll lose what we fought so hard to win.

and at this very moment, in the wee hours of the morning, my thoughts have all ceased to exist. all but one thing stays in my mind. the one thing that never leaves my mind, never leaves my heart. the one thing that has brought a whole new meaning to life. the one thing that has made me come alive. an entrance to my life that brought endless smiles, laughter and joy. it has been such a blessing all these while.

thank you for every single thing. you've brought much meaning to my life. and you've made me realise how i'm stronger than i knew i was. taught me independence whilst depending. you made me see the things that no one ever has. and you made me feel good about myself. nobody has ever appreciated me in the little ways that you have. you read my eyes like a diary and that never fails to amaze me. nobody has ever understood the words that i said the way that you have. and for all the times you stood by me, i just wanna say thank you.

indeed,
love is patient
love is kind
it does not envy, it does not boast
it is not proud, it is not rude
it is not self-seeking
it is not easily angered
it keeps no record of wrongs

love does not delight in evil
but rejoices in truth
love always protects,
always trusts, always perserveres

love bears all things
believes all things
hope all things
endures all things

love never ends
love never fails

maybe that's my answer to your question. you asked why. i say because.

love never fails.
-cheryl
3:07 AM





Cheryl

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