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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

today didn't turn out to be as bad as i thought it'd be. waking up was painful. recalling was hurtful. and i forced myself to think of the reasons why i smiled before and i still smiled. i remember the little things. i'd have loved to say it all out, but i think i'll choose to keep it between my heart and myself. (:

the only reason why this is easier for me to take is because i've finally met someone who understands, who knows when to say what and who does not walk away and leave a pool of tears behind. all of the past has proven to me the ugly side of human and maybe the child like side of them. yet this time, i've been proven wrong. not everyone is like that. and i've finally met one who doesn't fear to face the music. someone who makes good, sound decisions. someone who looks up and says i'm sorry and i know she means it.

today i suddenly felt glad. for alot of reasons. i've been feeling that there's been something missing and something just isn't right. so maybe this isn't so bad after all. i made the same mistake of jumping the gun and i swear i don't want to ever fucking make this mistake again ever. let nature take its course. yes, that's what it should have been. that's what it should always have been. but we got impatient and took a shortcut only to realise we're lost. so now i hope you're found cos i am.

taking a step back has done you good and it has done me good too. though i hope and hope from the depths of my heart that taking a step back doesn't mean that you're walking away. just stick around, will you? cos maybe we'll see the sun rise again together. maybe.

i cannot help but still care. and i cannot help but try and make a smile worthwhile. but i know now where to draw the line and i see the line isn't blurred anymore, it's clear. my mind's clear and my heart's clear. i know now what i want and what i need. and i know now what you really need. though i wonder about what you want. but our wants change all the time.

and i kind of miss those days so sweet. i miss pretending to not care when inside of me my heart's smiling. (: and maybe now there's yet another chance that i can start to pretend and smile to myself again.

so it's been a good day cos i took the bad and threw it out of the door. kept the good and i kept a picture of you locked up in my heart. smile, cos the world smiles with you. don't frown, cos it takes my smile away.

honestly, you melt my heart when you smile. (:

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-cheryl
8:14 PM





Cheryl

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