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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

life's like that
we always come to love someone
who doesn't love us
and we come to hurt someone
who loves us more than ever
life's just like that

a good friend of mine just got attached to his girlfriend. my heart rejoices, for this is truly one good man who will do anything for the girl he loves. he is thoughtful, caring, faithful and trustworthy. i know, because i was once the girl he loved.

a tiny part of me felt a little indignant. there's a stir of perhaps envy, not much but enough for me to feel it. and i remembered what mich said, that we always come to love someone who doesn't love us. he loved me simply and dearly, but i never once turned to look at him. our friendship took a turn for the worse, when things that shouldn't happen, happened. he made his mistakes, i took them to heart. we got better and then we drifted apart.

looking back, i still remember all the good times spent. and of course there was the bad. but today, i'm just happy for him, that he's finally found someone to share this life with him. someone whom i hope deserves him. and he truly deserves to be loved and treated with the best.

i just heard news of the rumour between me and her. goodness. such things just spread like wildfire doesn't it. i was so quiet about it, tried so hard not to let others outside of tp find out. yet one by one they did. and the rumours were quite funny. things that i never did, rumours said i did. made me laugh, but where will that leave us?

i don't want such trivial things to affect all that i've so painstakingly built up with you. all those months, waiting for the right moment that never seemed to come. all those months hiding every single thought and feeling from the world. i was all by myself. never thought i'd come this far, and yet i did. i carried these feelings for you, all the way through all these while. and it never once diminished.

"hello!" *backspaced* "hello!" *backspaced* "hello!" *backspaced* "hello!" *backspaced* and the cycle just goes on and on...

ever felt that way before? cos the feeling sucks and it makes you feel so squirmy and unable to concentrate on anything at all.

let's just hope for the best, after all i've heard today. i wonder when we'll ever move on. when we'll move past this phase and get on together. i wonder if you're ever touched by any single thing that i've done. cos i've been touched by you, you're shining so brightly it hurts my eyes. but i still struggle so hard to find you, to look after you and to care for you.

i will honour my words,
and i hope you remember what are they.
-cheryl
10:56 AM





Cheryl

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