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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

i woke up today and forced myself back to sleep. i didn't want to wake up. i didn't want to feel awake. cos when i do, i know that's when the feelings will sink into my heart. that's when i'd realise how cold the night has been. that's when i'd begin to question myself why. and so now i'm awake. why?

i'd known. could have done something. could have saved something. but i didn't. i let my own emotions overtake. i'd known. could have changed something. could have made a difference. but i didn't. i let my selfishness overtake. i knew what could work and what couldn't. why did i have to walk a different way around?

am i still courageous or have i lost fight? and all those months that mattered and i kept myself at bay. maybe i should have continued to be the girl i used to be, all those months when she didn't know me. it was a twist of fate that very evening. i didn't plan on it. but i acted on what i hadn't planned on after planning not to act for so long. was it a mistake? no? maybe.

and now i wonder what it all means. i'm sorry. and if all the above words don't mean a thing. this will be what i mean to say the most.

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-cheryl
10:12 AM





Cheryl

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