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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

i took a slow walk home today relishing the solitude of being left alone. it's these little moments that you learn to appreciate the rustle of the wind, the chirping of crickets and then i put on my earphones and forgot about the world. the route's far too short, before i know it i'm home and no longer alone and i miss my solitude.

and now it's deep into the night and the world sleeps as i stay awake. how can we feel so alone in this world so filled with noise and mire and people. and we remember the times we feel complete with just that one person by our sides. it's amazing what love can do.

people all around, they never know, never see, never ever hear the words that scream in the depths of the heart. and then they begin to judge. who are they really, to judge? what does anyone else know anyway? if i don't know how i even feel, how can anyone else know? the questions i ask and answer on my own.

and they hold out a warm hand, embracing you in their tender hugs but you feel cold. and colder still cos a part of you has just died. and they begin to feel good because they think they've managed to bring back a smile or two, never realising how much more effort it takes for a broken being to smile. how much efforts it has taken, feigning smiles. and they feel good for forcing us to smile.

and after the first few steps i took, i got me running a losing race. cos time it ticked away too fast, got me looking back and taken aback, of how much things have changed.

"before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding
something more than this fear

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now
tell me how to make amends"

-half life by duncan sheik-
-cheryl
12:53 AM





Cheryl

pretty faces