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Sunday, December 24, 2006

my horoscope says "Are you so caught up in your dreams that you are ignoring the magic of your life?" i wish i could say no, but maybe i really am.

been doing so much thinking lately that it's probably hurting my brains. you know how it feels like, when life gets so busy and yet you're so unfulfilled, you worry and you woe over small things and big things and basically every single thing in your life? your mind overworks and you fall into deep slumbers every night, waking up really late the next day and wasting precious time away. life has been like this for me, lately.

and the people whom i always thought understood me the most, or tried to understand me the most tend to let me down at the time i need them the most. sometimes you try so hard it gets frustrating. i don't feel like trying anymore. and i thought they'd have cared but i guess i ain't that important after all.

life has slowly but surely turned into a mundane activity that i can't wait to get over each day. this will not do. it's gonna kill me in the long term. i need to seek a way out and around this shithole.

and the same issues come running back to me, but i'm just exhausted of all my strength. it's robbed me of the zest and love i used to have for all the things in this world.

and today as i sit here and mull over my decisions and frustrations, i can't seem to find a willing hand outstretched towards me. if you're there, show me, cos i don't see you.

watched an old movie on ch8 just now entitled 7 years later. it was kinda thought provoking. it was something close to my heart and it made me begin to feel the magic and wonders of love again. but i guess i won't sit up for long, i'd just recline and stay out of these complicating matters of the heart. love, i've decided, is not magic and wonders. i've become too skeptical for my own good.

and today she walks in fear
of holding the hand she'd lose tomorrow
-cheryl
12:35 AM





Cheryl

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