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Saturday, December 09, 2006

everyone has different expectations of me. i try and try so hard to live up to them. but you know, reaching one person's expectations can mean dashing another's dreams. and honestly, i'm tired of trying so hard. will you still love me, if i fail you? will you?

i know i've disappointed you, time and again. for that i'm sorry. i know you'd have forgiven me, but will you still love me as you have before? or have you given up on me? i'm still trying, please wait for me.

and you, you don't need to know anything. really.

this sem's a flop. i've been skipping classes and doing badly for assignments. i've gone off track for so long, i forgot how it feels to be right on track. and worst of all, i've fallen sick so many times for so long, that i can't quite be on task again. i've failed terribly and i know it. i seriously need to think about this. nobody can help. and even God can't help, if i don't want Him to. i've been a bad girl too long.

i asked myself that day, cheryl my dear girl, are you gonna just let all the efforts that you've put in for so long go down the drain like that? my reflection stared back at me, emotionless. then it looked down, crestfallen. that hurt. will you work harder this time? my reflection refused to look back at me. i tried, it said. but i'm too tired now. i looked at that tearstained face crumbling right in front of me. is that really what i've become?

let's not think too far ahead now. i shall just concentrate on next week's term tests and then i'll work my way back from there. can i still? can i? yes i can.

this time i'm gonna come out stronger than before. and no one's gonna take away any part of my heart ever again. no one's gonna succeed anymore. i won't let them.

and i mean it, no one.

you still shine like you're on fire. maybe a part of my heart will be reserved for you. maybe, just maybe. be nice, alright?

-cheryl
11:51 AM





Cheryl

pretty faces